by Tiffany “the panther who prowls with purpose” Foo
“A human being is part of the whole, called by us “universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and his feelings as something separated from the rest- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creature and the whole [of] nature in its beauty.” ~ Albert Einstein
When the pain becomes too much and the weight of it all begins to overwhelm, I remember. There is more than this. This I know. I am sitting drinking tea with a friend becoming more dear with each encounter on torrential rain filled night number three in a row in the cozy sitting room of my urban temple sanctuary. And in the revealing of my rawest pain, I am seen and witnessed as I see and witness.
There is deep sadness here. It is felt and experienced at a cellular level. Life is mourning life and the very air is heavy with the perfume of sorrow- but it is not despair. I feel blue and you feel blue. We are all swirling in the blue morass together. And it is true and there is deep rightness in that feeling. And it is more than me. More than you. We are all a part of that deep blue sadness. There is much to mourn and sometimes I wonder if there are enough tears to wash away all that does not serve.
Across the globe, the earth is bearing the story of destruction wrought upon her. And she is crying. And there is honor or something akin to it in knowing that it is better to feel than to not feel. If I did not respond to this pain, I would be disconnected from her and that is a greater sadness.
Am I strong enough to embrace the pain? Goddess grant me the serenity to embrace the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference. What capacity of heart do I have to just be in the world? Thus, I with honor do hold my part and bear the pain of us all. And trust that she, too, we, too, bear my pain as well. In bearing, I serve life and all that is holy. My sadness is mine and it is also hers, and ours. Her sadness is mine and also ours. We each hold what we can and bear our part. The earth is crying and I am crying, too. May our collective tears wash away all that no longer serves. May our tears renew this ground.
Ground. ground. ground. Wound. wound wound. Bound to her. As it should be. Of her and from her, we walk on her and with her and she bears us all- our beauty and our ugliness. Recognizing the self’s embeddedness within a framework of interdependence- to be in the world is to be in relationship with it- I see how profoundly my individual states and actions affect the whole. I am a drop. I am one of many- a woman just trying to come clean. And I remember, blue tears fall before green fields bloom.
In Sadness and In Joy,
May the rain wash away all that does not serve.